Facebook Floaters, Bee Gees, A Season, Fresh Meat

May 25, 2012

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ECONOMICS Shares in Facebook closed well below the price at which they were floated amid doubts that the newly listed company can live up to expectations. Analysts stated that the confidence in the original float had been flushed away as soon as the stock started to plummet. After a sticky start this morning, the newly… [Read more…]

Posted in: UK, social, science, technology

Lockerbie, Hand of Zod, Hospital Food

May 21, 2012

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INTERNATIONAL Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, the only person convicted over the 1988 attack, has died older than Yoda at his home in Libya, aged 623. Released in 2009 on compassionate grounds as Megrahi was “dying of terminal cancer”, worse was in store on arrival back in Libya. Doctors sadly confirmed that he was simply dying… [Read more…]

Facebook, Dave, Dirty Greeks and Sausage Rolls

May 20, 2012

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Quick round up, kids…… TECHNOLOGY So this week Facebook floated on the US stockmarket, raising initially $106Bn. This windfall will give Co-Founder Mark Zuckerburg just enough to buy another FarmVille pig-shed and 5 more colours in Draw Something™ Each share started at $36 and rose sharply to $42 per share following the announcement that Facebook… [Read more…]

The Apprentice, Hosepipes and Snowboarding Rats

March 14, 2012

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Ratatouille-The-Snowboarding-Opossum

Entertainment News. Show business.  Series 8 of the The Apprentice returns to our screens soon and the new hopefuls have started to set their rickety stalls out courtesy of a BBC press release. “Football fan Katie Wright says she will blow her rivals out of the water on the hit BBC show.” There is no… [Read more…]

Posted in: Uncategorized

Friday 13th January – The Sun, Hooves, Employee Fisting and Leveson

January 13, 2012

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giggs-sun

Warning: this article is certificate 18.  Containing strong language, sexual references, moderate fantasy violence and snoozenight losing it to the soundtrack of Dominic Mohan’s garbled garglings.  In fact this is just 1000 swear words taped together and then dangled in front of a webcam for no-one’s pleasure. Have you ever wondered if papers have an… [Read more…]

Posted in: Politics, UK

Sunday 8th January – Hawking, Andre, Stringfellow and Cocks

January 8, 2012

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Sounding suddlenly less like Davros and more like a bloke up the pub, The Guardian this week covered the “world’s greatest scientific mind of his generation” as he skilfully aligned himself both with the Catholic Church and Jeremy Clarkson. ”Stephen Hawking admits he finds women ‘a complete mystery’” Woh! Woh! mysterious girls! When taking time… [Read more…]

Posted in: science

Wednesday 4th January – Of Mice, Men, Boobs and Booze

January 4, 2012

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ciggy

In light of the Stephen Lawrence sentencing due today, there will be a change to the scheduled Snoozenight.com programming.  We will be bringing you the same old rubbish as before. But without the 18 year delay. We all like a drink on New Year’s Eve: whether it be in front of the TV, crying in… [Read more…]

Posted in: social, UK

Monday 2nd January – Ed Miliband, KY Jelly and a Hammer

January 2, 2012

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miliband

The Daily Mail provided wonderful source material in their interview today with everybody’s second favourite Miliband – The Labour Party Leader. “‘I think my worst habit is excessive seriousness’: Ed Miliband on his image, why he’ll be prime minister and the ongoing rift with his brother [David]“ I’d heard Ed Miliband’s worst habit was killing… [Read more…]

Posted in: Politics, UK

Friday 23rd September – Bad Gas / Nick Clegg Aged 13 ¾

September 23, 2011

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Deputy-PM-Nick-Clegg

Vast Gas! In these energy-scarce times, it’s always great to hear some good old BBC news regarding the spanking of the UK’s natural resources. Shale gas firm finds ‘vast’ gas resources in Lancashire An energy firm which has been test drilling for controversial “shale gas” in Lancashire has said it has found vast gas resources underground.… [Read more…]

Posted in: Uncategorized

Thursday 22nd September – Dumb Pricks

September 22, 2011

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hedgehog

What Riots? What Party Conferences? What Hurricane? There’s more serious news to report on, don’t you know. Back to business with uncurrent affairs as the Snoozenight offices open full time after the pilot landed the damaged hulk safely in the Hudson river, saving all onboard. The Metro.co.uk’s homepage, somewhat ironically, has a “news” button to… [Read more…]

Posted in: Uncategorized
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