Wednesday 25th May – A Good Argument

The Bicker Man

With more rowing than Sir Stephen Redgrave’s bathtime The Sun opens the door for some comedy basics, slamming it closed behind them while screaming “what have you been doing up to this God Forsaken hour?”

The Average Couple Has 2455 rows a year.

No they don’t. 😉

The average couple bickers 2,455 times a year, a survey revealed yesterday – equal to almost seven times a day.

No, I think you’ll find it’s 6.6, ACTUALLY. *smugface, tilt head to one side*

The biggest single reason for a tiff is not listening to what the other half is saying, which is responsible for around 112 cross exchanges a year.

Uh?

Annoyance about over-spending, especially on impulsive or unnecessary purchases, leads to 109 disputes – with money in general being the cause of a further 108.

What to eat for dinner leads to 92 barneys a year – and 80 tiffs are about a partner walking mud into the house.

With 12 arguments being caused by a partner walking the wrong dinner into the house.  Or eating mud for dinner.  Stay with me.

Driving too fast, walking past items that need taking upstairs and what to watch on television are the cause of conflict more than once a week.

With Fred and Rose West often bickering about items that need taking downstairs.  One-liners don’t get taffa than this.

Sex – particularly a lack of it or the timing – also causes 88 bust-ups a year.

Especially when the husband times the sex when his wife isn’t in the house.  Come here…there’s more.

And there are even 69 clashes because one person has failed to say “I love you” enough.

As all men know.  we can never say “I Love You ” enough.  Uttering it an infinite number of times is one short of the mark. It’s good.  But it’s not right!

88 bust-ups are caused by saying “I love you” only at the point of ejaculation. While online.

“It’s Love-O’Clock, darling. “SAY IT!” “NOW MEAN IT” “SAY IT AGAIN!” “WITH MEANING” “YOU’RE ONLY SAYING IT BECAUSE I ASKED YOU!” “SAY IT WITHOUT ME ASKING THIS TIME” “SAY IT LIKE I SAY IT” etc etc etc

The figures were revealed in a study of 3,000 people, either married or in relationships, by esure home insurance.

A spokeswoman said: “Bickering on a daily basis is all part of being in a normal, healthy relationship.

“The normal co-habiting couple will have to put up with each other’s daily annoyances – even if they can prove to be very irritating.”

Note to self – remove nose-pickings from under the sofa and remember to wash arse.

At least once a week.

It’s the way I tell ’em.

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