I DIDN’T WATCH IT – STRICTLY COME DANCING, SERIES 12

DrHamHock

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I didn’t watch this.  I already know all about it.  So do you.

I have a problem.  it’s called “being me”.  My brain is a Chinese finger-trap for awful useless codswallop.  Strictly Come Dancing popped in there and hasn’t left.

You know EARWORMS – I get BRAINWORMS.  Unless I take a brain dump that worm just takes hold until BLAM – I end up demanding to engage EVEN ENJOY the very things that are driving me mad.  This is THAT.

Spinning, pirouetting, sashaying round and round in my mind, re-animated old school ugly thirteenth Doctor Bruce Forsyth regenerated as the ever-increasingly ODD-HOT Claudia Winkleman flicks a secret switch on his/her utility belt.  FLICK! – live on BBC1 – this releases the mythical sequinned Groundhog – a confused, panicked animal dressed in a tutu with just enough side-boob on display to keep the dads watching, and just enough vaginal waxing to keep it pre-watershed…

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